Wednesday, June 16, 2010


It was no big deal! I saw a mouse in the kitchen and said, “Good morning, Debbie. How’s the weather look today? By the way I’ve noticed that this old house may have a mouse problem.”

Debbie agreed, but we both decided that it was no big deal, and that we should think of a humane way to remove the mouse (or mice) and then think of a nice safe place to relocate the mouse or mice to.

“That’s a capital idea!” I exclaimed confidently, “Let me have a quick go at drafting a quick relocation and rescue plan.”

“I have absolute faith in your plan,” Debbie said, “we’re ever so lucky to have you here, intern Pete.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I said “Now, I believe that Leonardo di ser Piero da vinci had a basic set of plans in mind for such a thing, and with a few modifications I might be able to cobble together a quite capable device with the materials at hand…if it doesn’t prove beyond my abilities.”

“You’re too modest,” Debbie said “I’m sure your plans will be top notch!”

Then, I set about my task, which I flawlessly completed.*

*Ok here’s what really happened.

Debbie said “Hey, is that a mouse?”

And I tried to run away and knocked over the kitchen table, and then ran into the wall.

But I prefer to remember my version of events.

I’m not actually that afraid of mice, I was just caught a little off guard. I took some time trying to come up with way to relocate the mice without hurting them, but so far my best idea politely asking them to leave. If anyone has any tips they’re always appreciated.


  1. So, just play a game of Mousetrap- You roll the dice, you move your mice, nobody gets hurt. THEN, the mice will run away screaming in terror!!!

  2. Fantastic idea! I wish I could solve all of my problems with Rube Goldberg machines -

    "hey pete, i asked you to enter that data an hour ago."

    "It's true, but I'm having a problem about halfway through - the roller skate with candle in it that's supposed to burn the string that triggers the lever that makes the big foam hand hit the enter key, keeps veering off course! I should have the whole thing up and running in about a week."

  3. You should build a mouse house for them!

  4. I love that idea! I'll like the idea of working with a tiny little mouse architect, and hiring an all mouse construction crew that uses hilariously small hammers - I suppose I could just build the house myself...but I believe this plan has a much more positive impact on the regional mouse economy.

  5. Along with the Mouse House, you can feed them, and treat like pets! I used to have a gerbil and he was very friendly. If you don't what that is, please look it up and see some pictures.

  6. Gerbils are pretty fantastic! Also, that's not a bad idea - I could put one of those work out wheels in the house - oh yeah! I could get some of those tubes that hamsters and gerbils like, and I could build a little subway system so the mice could get from their house to...wherever it is that mice like to go when they're off on their adventures.

  7. They might be scared at first, but they like you after you feed them a few times.